With the New Year slowly churning out fresh days, hopefully some time is being spent on setting new goals to tackle throughout 2020.
Let's talk about 9 common things that can potentially hold you back from making progress on your goals!
1. Obsessing over what others think of you - This is increasingly more common in today's gratification-filled society. When you feel this happening, try to bring awareness by asking yourself these two simple questions: When did we start giving other people so much power over our actions? How can you take a step back and stop giving energy to this? Self-validation and self-approval is a tough concept, but it should be the only thing that drives you. Because at the end of the day, it's YOUR life and no one knows what makes you tick and makes you happy except for YOU!
2. Wasting time on social media - Everyone falls prey to this; endless scrolling! It's such a powerful tool for connection, but it definitely has a dark side! Instead of going the extreme route and deleting it all, try shifting your social media mindset to view scrolling as either passive consumption (mindless), or intentional consumption (purposeful)! Try only following accounts that provide education, information, or ways to learn and excel! That way when scrolling DOES happen, you are still challenging the mind, and learning something new!!
3. Not utilizing your support team - People tend to take the weight of the world on their shoulders. Which isn't necessarily a negative thing, but it will drain you after some time, ESPECIALLY if you feel like you are doing it alone. Isolation isn't motivating in most cases, and current research shows that friendships actually make us live longer! Having a solid support team and ACTUALLY asking them for help is such a powerful thing we tend to deprive ourselves of. There is no shame in asking for help, there is no weakness in leaning on a loved one. Try reaching out to a friend or a loved one this week, even if it's just to vent! You'll feel lighter!
4. A victim mentality - A "victim" mentality is when someone shirks responsibility for their actions and consistently blames others instead. It is easy to see the downside of situations or blame it on someone else. It actually takes a lot of courage to look at a situation and say "How did I contribute to this failing/not going the way I had planned?" It is much much easier to blame others, or external factors instead of looking within. Life doesn't happen TO you, it happens FOR you, so what can you learn?!
5. Not setting a daily intention - I call this the "spaghetti on the wall" phenomenon; throw a plate of spaghetti on the wall, and pray something sticks. If we start our days with zero intentions, and just do things without purpose, well, spaghetti on the wall. Sure, some things will stick, but it's all chaotic, and super messy. Try starting your day with TWO intentions, TWO things to accomplish that day. And then focus on your actions aligning with those two intentions. You end your day checking things off the list AND moving with purpose :)
6. Remove toxic people and relationships from your life - If you spend time with a person and all they do is complain and drain (victim mentality), that will burn you out over time! Why waste time on that!?!? You have things to do, goals to hit, dreams to accomplish! It is completely OK to remove relationships and people that don't serve you any more. You are doing yourself a disservice by humoring them and keeping them around. Gloom and doom is contagious, purge it from your life!
7. Not reading enough! - Knowledge is power! Challenge your mind with books! Not a reader? Try an audio book! Or a podcast! Or an educational YouTube video! Whatever it is, don't stop learning!!!!
8. Living the life that OTHERS expect of you - This is another tough obstacle for most people; trying to live up to the expectations of others, or living for other people's approval. We only get one life to live, and the world is your oyster! Why not live a life that is true to YOU! It's great to lean on your support team for opinions and guidance, but at the end of the day, stay true to YOU!
9. Constantly being hard on yourself - This is the biggest obstacle I consistently see when working with clients. I think somewhere along the way, we have blurred the lines of being hard on ourselves and keeping ourselves compassionately motivated. There is a HUGE difference between beating yourself up, and telling yourself "Hey, that didn't go the way I planned, but what can I do differently next time to get the result I want?" With this approach, you are acknowledging a failed attempt, but you are also staying motivated to try, try again. Compassionate self-motivation is much more positive and way less destructive than internal name calling. How we speak to ourselves 100% influences our thoughts and actions. Hold yourself accountable, stay motivated, but be your biggest cheerleader!
Well there you have it, 9 of the most common obstacles that stand in our ways when trying to achieve goals and dreams. Tackle one obstacle at a time and see where it takes you! Chase those goals!